Welcome to virtual-secrets, week 465.
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virtual-secrets: Week 465
· Lourdes Denimore ·
Quick link to the 60 Comments
Before we delve into secrets…
• If you hook up with a crazy in SL, it is not our responsibility to help you deal with that. If it becomes a RL issue contact law enforcement.
• Trust no one. If you tell people your laundry they will air it for you.
• Secret submissions are anonymous. We don’t know if your crazy ex or your abuela submitted them.
• Make your secrets legible.
• Do not contact us just to threaten us, especially with e-lawyers. We’ve been doing this for 12+ years. You are not the first nor will you be the last.
• Lastly, if the material submitted here triggers you, please get help. If the materials submitted here make you suicidal please see the suicide hotline numbers posted. They are there to help.
I am super over all these rendering ads. Also a few of the bigger name designers have crap rigging and stuff poking out yet it looks freaking awesome on the 3d rendering. I don’t mind if a WIP is a rendering, but full on ad that’s made completely outside of second life does make me feel like it’s false advertising. Then again Demo the crap out of the ones who can’t show what it really looks like in world.
I’m going to take a moment here and explain what exactly the people who agree with me are talking about. There are disabled people and there are “disabled” people online. We all know disabled people online. They are the people you may just learn in passing that they have a disability. You never truly know all their afflictions but you know they struggle sometimes. Sometimes they have bad days, like everyone else. And they talk about stuff. we all know these people and have empathy. The path for the disable is rough already and when you have the government and/or family, and your body working against you. Things can be that much worse. Then you have the “disabled” people online. From the first post you ever saw by them you knew they were disabled whether you wanted to know or not. You know every ache, pain, treatment plan, doctors visit, prescription, side effects. Every knew affliction, old affliction, imagined affliction they have, sometimes before they get it. They have every chronic disease known to man and some not known to man. And no matter what, they can never get treatement. No drugs work for them ever.They are always 2 steps away from being evicted or having their lights turned off. They are always poor, except when its time to take that weekly trip to trader joes, costco and sam’s club and then whine about how people gave them mean looks while they rolled around blocking the aisle in the motorized carts. Also whatever other indignities they suffer by being disabled and out in public. They are always broke until that new sims expansion comes out. Or its time to pay the tier on their sim. Or buy the latest popular multiplayer game everyone is playing. When their computer dies they… Read more »
No. There is no disabled and “disabled” – there is people you like and people who you do not like. If someone wants to write all about their pain and frustrations on the internet – shrug and walk away. Same as there always will be shitty folks who whinge but it does not undermine their disabilities nor excuse behaviour. There is absolutely no right way to be disabled nor will everyone always match your idea of right expression. For some – disability is a strong element of their identity which can be both positive and negative while for others it is something they do not wish to be associated with for plenty reasons – all is relative and subjective and people with same conditions might not experience it in same way (such as a person with same chronic pain condition will not feel pain on same level as one with identical condition: I barely feel any due to it being always present from birth while to someone else it would be unbearable). You do not have to listen or read to rants of any person nor give them money for computers while they are free to make any campaigns they wish (remember potato salad one?) and write long articles about disability horrors every hour of the day. It is not for you or for me to judge as we cannot get inside someone’s head. In addition, you have no idea how laws and benefits work in someone’s area and usually it is absurdly hard plus at best is the equivalent of minimum wage. It took me 6 years to be considered disabled in UK and my condition is very visible plus am rather lucky it happened at all while plenty of people died of starvation under current government. Health care,… Read more »
Well it’s good that the “disabled” have advocates also. Gotta keep that con going somehow. Right??
It’s cool you clarified but the reason so many disabled get a bit ruffled is because we hear this same shit all the time directed towards us – especially since You Know Who got elected – even though we aren’t those assholes. People treat the con artists as if they’re the majority – they aren’t, they’re just vocal as hell because they want attention. I just had it shoved in my face last night, told to get a job, told to “stop sitting on my fat ass”, and had all the stereotypes heaped on top of me because I was upset about maybe losing my healthcare. So I apologize for getting irritated and I’m glad to know who you mean because, trust me, disabled people hate those assholes too. They make us all look bad.
@H (cannot reply to them thus have to put it in your thread A-Kid, sorry!): First of all – people generally want to work if they can as humans are not made for stagnation and we want to contribute to betterment of society, learn and be independent. With this in mind, consider the job market nowadays – there is barely work for experienced people with degrees so having a position catering to specific disabilities is rare as there is plenty various types. I will only address hypothetical wheelchair user who is not paralysed in this case. To get inside job market, you have to start somewhere and most starter jobs are manual labour. Waiting, hospitality, in-house sales, tellers and so on, still require some mobility. With all the cuts in all market sectors you have clerks who do stocking, dish washers who have to unload restaurant deliveries and plenty similar mergers (did not mention receptionists as you sometimes can find a rare one where you do not have to walk around). The option in this case would be a low level office admin job, data entry, call centre, translation, script writing, lowest level network administration and others. You certainly can find one someday but those not asking for experience are pretty rare. Then there is a thing where governments help funding disabled peoples’ wages and here we reach the topic of people being awesome as always. In UK it came to a vile situation where companies get funding but hire people to be volunteers – how does this happen? Career advice centres, help groups and government itself make it mandatory. You potentially can opt in and get the experience but then you are at risk being deemed too abled and have all money cut which sticks you in a vicious… Read more »
The con-artists are very rare according to EU statistics – with disability benefits the fraud level is lowest than with anything and is around 0.01% to 0.05% due to sheer level of hardness that is associated with making such applications.
You will not win with AKID, he or she spins every story around . Excuses excuses is right!!!
Oh God H. Go the fuck away. It was so nice here when you crawled back into your fucking hole of skank. And A LOT of people who are TRULY disabled can NOT get a job online because it can affect the amount of benefits that they get and are HONESTLY entitled to.
You are a fuckin moron. Too bad for you being a stupid piece of shit isn’t a disability. You would be rolling in the benefits.
Great, H. You have a job online I can work that will pay what I need to live on and provide complete insurance? Sign me up, I’m ready! Wait.. you don’t? You mean that’s actual bullshit and such positions do not actually exist because people like me have actually tried to find them but cannot? Amazing. You keep saying disabled people are “lazy” and it’s a common trait. You have no idea what I go through, have been through, or the battles I fight every day. I know – it’s not working a job which people like you think is the only indicator of worth and activity. How do you know I don’t have kids? How do you know if I’m raising a family? How do you know if I’m missing limbs? Maybe I fight every day just get get dressed and go out. Maybe I’m going through chemo. Maybe I’m partially paralyzed and going to the bathroom is a challenge. Maybe I have a mental illness and have to fight unseen battles every day with my own mind. See, you don’t know. You see someone say “disabled” and your mind snaps to “lazy leeches stealing my money who I am clearly better than and who should have no hobbies because having a moment to have a hobby means they can do work” rather than “maybe they are actually disabled”. There is no “deflection”, people like you are the problem. Maybe you should take a good, long hard look at why you think that. It’s not healthy. Would you like to trade? I’d rather be an able bodied person with all the time in the world to harass disabled people online and be in the work force than the shit I deal with every day. Since it’s so very easy… Read more »
Excuses excuses. If you have time to play on SL, you have time to work online too. Stop blaming other people for your laziness. That is a common trait with most of you. You are expert deflectors. You are ready to blame everyone about your situation but yourself. MANY online companies hire disabled people to work from home. Stop being ignorant and do something for yourself.
Also. You have no idea how or why I am disabled. Neither did the people saying “get a job” or calling me fat and lazy. In fact, just like you, all they saw was a name and text. They, like you, were offended I existed. They, like you, have no idea what it’s like to be actually disabled and not a con artist. They, like you, didn’t understand just how much it costs to live when you are actually disabled. They, like you, think the disabled just don’t want to work – they saw one inspiration porn disabled person working and making a mint so they, just like you, think all of them can and if they don’t want to – they’re lazy. They, just like you, fail to understand a lot of disabled people wanted to work but we had that and a lot of our dreams stolen from us by our disabilities. They, just like you, think the disabled just sit around stealing your tax dollars willfully. And they, just like you, think the disabled have no pride and are all overweight leeches.
Ignorance is a choice. Being disabled isn’t.
^ Example of people the disabled are tired as fuck of dealing with.
Maybe if you had a job AKid , you would get healthcare. And please, I see many people in wheelchairs working in office jobs, to grocery stores. It starts with the individual. If you do not want to be classified as lazy, you CAN get a job. You are making the choice to be reliant on the government because you do NOT want to work. Maybe the people that told you to stop sitting on your lazy ass were trying to give you a hint to take some pride in yourself and work.
This. So much this. Yay, I posted on SL secrets.
Not 100% sure, but I think that #10 is a general statement. Not really directed at one person, for one person. I know the poster and he wasn’t referring to himself, but seeing people being passive/aggressive to each other. He meant it in defense of many of his friends.
I feel like most of these lately are more people pissing and moaning then actual secrets. Don’t like a person talking about there disability? Don’t read it and don’t hang out with them. Don’t like that outfit? Don’t buy it? Don’t want people talking behind your back? Don’t talk behind there’s. Okay there you go problems solved…next.
#8, the people that get called out are the ones who cry about it constantly online, we all know people like that and they are drama-in-a-can bad about it. If I was bedridden or disabled, I’d play SL to FORGET my troubles not to boo-hoo err-whar publicly and try to get attention and sympathy, there’s a very big difference.
I’m not disabled, but I /am/ a hospice RN in RL. Some of my patients have been living with disabling symptoms for years, even decades, including pain, breathing, mental illness, and seizures, to name only a few. Regardless of cause (CHF, COPD, MS, Parkinson’s, trauma, the list is endless), the symptoms are chronic and enduring. People with chronic symptoms, such as pain, become used to them. Their vital signs normalize, they can describe a severe pain episode in perfectly normal tone, they can deny feeling short of breath while obviously panting and laboring to speak. That doesn’t mean the symptoms are less impactful or managed. It just means that our brains and bodies cannot exist in a constant state of alarm.
Expecting someone who’s disabled to literally do nothing is selfish and self-centered. Distraction is an excellent nonmedicinal intervention to treat disabling symptoms, as is visualization, and meditation, all three of which are readily available via computer games and social networks. It makes perfect sense that logging in to Second Life provides a means of palliating chronic symptoms.
Practice empathy. We all die and we will, ourselves and our loved ones, each and every one of us, some day be that person in bed.
^ That.
However, the whole debacle reminds me of the long arse debates wether disabled people (without conditions affecting tooics below) are entitled to having access to culture, education (am from Poland and current government decided that all individual needs students cannot study in schools now whereas before they still could interact with students, be present in building and so on [if they could and wanted to] . Does not affect me as ran the hell away at 19 plus way older), sexuality (oh boy, friend was doing a pedagogy degree and had lectures on disabled sexuality – professor told everyone that all disabled people are like kids and cannot consent. Students were puzzled and started to ask about specific conditions such as Asperger’s or MS – got same answer) and well … just about anything else.
It is rather sad that SL somehow is going backwards as the common belief used to be what you said and plenty of bed bound (example) folks did benefit from it and other MMOs (quite few paralysed people started SL businesses and done gold mining in other games as primary RL jobs).
08. OP, no idea on context for that but I already seen enough from comments.
Remember to be disabled in the proper way and express it in a proper way otherwise people will get mad. Fuck people and what people think, although we know it is not as easy with governments.
Dear commenters, no one owes you explanations of medical, mental or neurological conditions unless they chose to disclose. You know shite about other person and how they experience disability nor they would know how you experience yours’ or anything in between.
I know it is alarming to see people emerge from the shadows and be visibly disabled or disclose online but calm down – they are not planning a revolt as they are surely just sad sods making blanket burritos in beds and crying from pain while watching Teletubbies. They do not use social media, enjoy looking at silly drama or play video games. Nope.
I lied.
Would definitely use my cane as a people swiper as my husband rolls me (in a wheelchair but I am not picky) away into murder.
PS. Oh yes, I am always in pain. Guess what I still do? Write shite on the internet that is
PS2. Why does SL have so many disabled people? Surely we drown in money according to someone and dear someone – please buy me a house. Nope. We just want to look hot, be a werepanther, have virtual orgies and so on with added ability to talk to others (convenient for those sitting at home), indulge in escapism and whatnot.
#8: And sometimes they distract themselves by posting heavily filtered selfies to Facebook from the ambulance, while wearing an oxygen mask.
1: YES!!!! I’ve been saying this FOREVER. Who are they fellating, that they still get to participate even though they NEVER follow the theme??
#7 i honestly think its alot of baby hair too but if you see the shit people out there actual like im just catering to other people and what i think they might like. Shrugs.There is a No baby hair option :T
#8 Please, you’re full of shit. Stop hating on Lourdes because your so called “boredom” is being called into question. It’s hard to imagine that someone would be ass deep in pain, however find the time and/or inclination to be on social media. Lourdes is stating what a lot of others are thinking.
It’s easy to hate on the person(s) that is/are being vocal about an issue. It’s harder to know which one of your so called friends/supporters aren’t whispering the same behind your back. #dontbeatool
Its called drugs my good friend, drugs. If you are all hopped up on some good pain killers you dont give a flying fuck about shit >.< thats prob why she is ass deep in sl and social media when she claims to be in pain…but thats non of my business 😛
No Lourdes legit is a vile human being. She once re-made a secret after I had it DMCA’d and taken because it was my real life picture. Like my rl pic had anything to do with Second Life.
Oh you!! Were you the lady who had the pic that was pixelated to the point where they couldn’t see your face and they compared your shape to gumby?
If it was or wasn’t doesn’t matter. The photoshop queen is actually Kess. So can’t take credit for awesome skills.
But with all that what about the person posted your picture on Secrets in the first place.
#8: What’s up with the pot leaf? Are you trying to tell us that you’re not really sick, just constantly high? Or are you treating your illness with pot? You’ve added a whole new dimension to this secret for us to quibble over.
The fatties smoke pot to get rid of their joint pain because they can’t roll their fat arses out of bed in the morning to work or even for any physical activity. They just want to lay their beastly body in bed playing second life while smoking their pot followed by a big creme cake!
you’re a total expert aren’t you 🙂
8.
It’s important to make sure when the word “disabled” is thrown out, we remember that there are a lot of SL players who have physical and neurological disabilities.
“Disabled” doesn’t always mean “fat and lazy and using their government check to buy gacha.”
Guys, it’s not hard to fathom. A person who is wheelchair-bound due to cerebral palsy? They may love the ability to fly in world or making airships/dirtbikes/vehicles in world. Or just being able to socialize without feeling pressure to explain or even mention their disability.
There are also a lot of military vets in SL who find socialization in world more comfortable due to their PTSD or other lingering disabilities.
There used to be vibrant communities for individuals with disabilities new to SL to chat and explore for just this reason.
So yeah: attention whores who make it everyone’s business that they are out on bed rest? That sounds annoying and cloying as fuck. But let’s not group everyone in SL who has a disability into the same category.
Thank you. I am technically disabled. I have approx. 50% use of my hands and legs. I work full time in an office in one of the hilliest cities in the USA and yes, cannibis is part of my medical treatment so I can function and maintain my independence. I have never collected a dime of assistance. I am also a content creator in SL as a creative outlet and to cover a few expenses. My SL lets me be more social than I can manage in meatspace because most nights after I get home from work I am out of spoons to manage anything else. The stereotypes some of these folks assume and/or perpetuate are loathsome.
Whether or not someone is an attention whore, a drama llama, a catfish, or just simply a nasty piece of work is not related to their ableness. That’s just who they are – nasty excuses for human beings. Judge them for their behavior toward others, nothing else.
Jaede Jinx is a nasty slut. Always floozing around at FMD
#10 .. I can’t. lolol Say it to my face, not through your status. Errr .. say it to their face, not SL secrets? Hello, pot – kettle. Get it together. lol
You can tell people have started logging out of SL during the summer. It gives all these nobodies a chance to shine and whine. We need real secrets or another gossip site. This shits getting old.
# 5 simple solution… don’t buy shit thats advertised like that, theres too many stores out there doing it and it is indeed false advertising since its never gonna look that good in SL.
# 6 yup as much as i like that event being 2 times a month i was expecting a discount on the price too. 1k a round would have been nice.
# 9 who the fuck is that anyways? lmao . a bit of self advertising there maybe? as someone else said.. just another SL whore, I would not wanna be that close to her anyways <3
#1: I love their stuff and it’s quality. I don’t care how much they miss the theme, at least it’s not some crappy gacha event designed to just make designers rich and besides, They’re not the only designers at that event that don’t match the theme.
Taking a cheap shot at R2 just shows us how shallow you happen to be, because you lack the intelligence to form a real argument.
I don’t think its an issue of the quality of their stuff, its just the fact that when there is a theme on an event you should at least try and follow it. all they ever put out is a variation on the exact same latex suit they started with seems to me. it looks pretty, its shiny but its always the same. ive never bought one since it pisses me off that it has nada to do with the theme, well that and its just yet another bit of shiny shit i would never wear. i’m sure its lovely shiny shit but its just same old same old every single month, boot them i say, but then there would be yet another empty booth.
I don’t care a lot abou the theme, at least R2 sticks to the old collabor 88 ways…
I miss the days where everything was 88 L.. that was the meaning behind the name..
I wish Collabor88 would get some sort of makeover. I think that listed designer is not bad, but this event does not seem to be the best place for their products especially when they are focused on one style.
I feel bad that a lot good designers just does not get chance to get in as full time designer, when they have more to offer and be more flexible for themes . Why would it prove lack of intelligence? it is a good event that should offer variety, R2 does not seem to show that a lot people agree with this secret I’d say…
I guess the event owner likes them and wants them there, hm? I’m not sure why people get crankypants about things like this when they can just quietly not to buy from any creator or simply not attend the shopping events they don’t like.
I miss the days when C88 started and it was a true discount event where everything was 88L and bigger ticket items (furniture/skins etc) were maybe 288L at most. Then Pizza took over and it became a “well as long as it ends in 88” event instead where big whoop, I pay 188L for a top I will pay 199L for next month! I hope I don’t go crazy and spend the whole 11L I saved in one place!!!
C88 has become a joke compared to how it started out. I remember the days where it did take me days to get in and designers weren’t money grubbers and charging whatever they liked, which I guess is their right, but seriously??? Yeah I’m looking at you Candydoll, Erratic and Zaara.
So maybe R2 doesn’t stick to the round theme, but at least they stick to the original theme of the event and still charge 88L for their items, which is why I support them every round…plus I like shiny stuffs!
Now as for the ones bitching about still paying 1500L for a now bimonthly event…most events charge around 3-5K for a round, so you’re still getting off cheap!
For real though, why are so many people on Second Life disabled? Is that like an entry-level requirement for playing?
I’ve noticed a lot of people have money to spend on the 1st of the month – coincidence? I think not!
Also #9, I sure wouldn’t want to come close to “Random Whore in Second Life Number 60000” – quit with the dumb, passive aggressive bullshit posting. If you have something to say to someone, fucking say it.
Right- when the welfare checks come out, they all scurry their fat asses on SL to spend Uncle Sam’s cash!!
Some people shouldn’t be allowed on the internet without an adult minder to supervise. You’re certainly on that list.
Well, yeah, because if you are a physically and mentally healthy person, with a job and a family and friends and hobbies, you do not have TIME to burn on virtual worlds, even if you had the inclination. Which you probably wouldn’t because if you are OK with your first life you don’t need a second (or a third, or a fourth).
Second Life IS a hobby and some my SL friends are good friends. I spend time on an online discussion forum for a RL hobby too, not all of us live in a place where we have a lot of like-minded people or a social scene that we like, smaller towns, rural areas etc. that are otherwise great places to live. so going to SL parties and musical things are something fun for us when we can’t always travel to the city as much as we’d like.
I have a job, family, friends, hobbies…SL is just one of the hobbies.
I have ‘real books’ too but I sometimes read online things.
And yet, you’re here.
Imagine there was a place you could go to where the disabilities that have plagued your entire life no longer existed and you would not be judged or limited by them.
There’s your answer.
You’re going to find people who let the negative aspects of their lives color every thing they touch and who wear it on their sleeve as a flashing button in every walk of life though, that’s not just a disabled thing. I’ve known people who do nothing but complain about their kids, their partners, politics, their work, their ex, not having sex, the internet, having too much sex, their weight, their friends, etc etc etc etc on and on and on. I don’t understand those people either but it seems extremely common. I can point out some public SL figures who do nothing but shove their RL kids and crap about them into everything and that annoys the fuck out of me. So I get it, I do, but it’s not just the disabled.
I guess some people can’t let go of their problems or drama or want the attention associated with both.
I’ll speak on the fat thing – for some, it’s the same as it was for you. For others, they just can’t or they are and the lack of being able to work out means they can eat healthy and little to nothing drops off (know someone like this) or their disability encourages weight gain or they cannot afford healthy foods (know people like this too – $1 ramen is cheaper than $10 healthy food). No excuses for being 500LBS unless that is an actual medical problem but thinking everyone’s body can be a size 6 is stupid and the “if you just quit SL, the weight falls off”… lol give me a break.
Griping is “complaining a lot”. I would expect a disabled friend to speak about their disability about the same as the rest of my friends sometimes speak of the limiting situations that almost everyone has that suck, but I dont like to hang out with -anyone- who is constantly only allowing their disabilities, problems or situations define them and to rule every activity they participate in. I’m mostly in SL as a leisure activity and I go to events to have a pleasant time.
Also, speaking with people you trust on your personal page is very different than the public grandstanding and complaining that I’ve seen sometimes by the ones who do embrace “wearing it like a flashing beacon”. I won’t speak to the ‘fat’ thing because I got fat, then got un-fat but I don’t have a health problem related to that so for me it WAS just a case of needing to eat better and get off the chair and go to the gym.
Depends on your definition of “griping”. Being disabled sucks, you deal with a lot of garbage that able bodied people can’t even grasp or are completely inconsiderate of, and a lot of us do need to vent or talk about it with people we trust or on our personal pages. We can’t always be smiles and sunshine and inspiration porn for everyone so they can feel good and we aren’t ‘a bother’ to anyone. I’m not saying there aren’t attention whores even among disabled people but FFS, people talk about things in their lives that affect them and if being disabled is part of your life then it’s going to come up eventually unless you completely separate RL and SL. Especially on your personal FB and when you’re talking to your friends. I may not wear it like a flashing beacon because I like to escape it but my SL friends know and sometimes I talk to them about disability shit.
Look at this trainwreck though of “lol all disabled people on SL are fat and spending Uncle Sam’s money and should lose weight and get a life and stop being on SL and that’s not a *real* disability” bullshit from people who are super busy and involved grumbling over disabled people but supposedly have “normal fulfilling lives”. As if none of you ever gripe about the RL problems you’re trying to escape by going on SL….
I understand this. What I don’t understand are the people who go there…and still just spend so much of their time griping about their disabilities.
There are many disabled people on second life. I can understand those who have MS. The ones calling themselves disabled though from their own habits of laziness are a different breed. If you are obese and sitting at the computer all day, you cause all your own health problems. Go exercise BEFORE you come on second life and plan out healthy meals instead of being on voice on the game saying how good your fat laden fettucini alfredo is! People dont want to hear that. Stop whining about your health problems and become Pro Active on them .
Glad to hear that you are OK with people having MS. Is cancer understandable too, or only if it’s not lifestyle-related? I guess that diabetes type 2 is not legit, but diabetes type 1 is cool?
You cannot know what physical, mental, emotional, or economic factors have contributed to any given person’s eating habits. Unless of course you are that person, and frequently not even then.
The potleaf on the panda was a nice touch too, ya vegetable.
Why so many – it’s rather obvious.
And ‘entry level’ comment…
FYI I do not “hate” disabled people. I do, however, find attention whores entertaining. If you put your shit out there, and send me threatening emails I’m going to call you on your bullshit.
#2 Thank you for the “spark of Sunshine” Here’s hoping someone gives you the spark right back!
#3 Rock on…MP gacha shopping FTW!
#5 agreed! DAZ/Poser renders are getting way outta hand. My solution, if the picture is Daz’d or over photoshopped, just not buying it.
#10 Why didn’t you reply to THEIR face instead of posting it on secrets???
@ Lourdes let us line up the attention whores and charge admission. We could be rich!!!!!!!